Back in fifth century B. c. when the celts celeBrated halloween’s eerie great uncle samhain, partaking in octoBer 31st festivities was a lot simpler. All you had to do was follow the moB. Druid priests believed that on this day the ghosts of the dead were free to mingle with the living.

So in order to avoid getting possessed by the rampaging poltergeists, villagers got decked out in frightening attire and lit bonfires in order to spook the spirits out of dodge. According to some sources, the purpose of donning terrifying costumes was to convince all the bogeymen that they too were undead, ensuring the wayward spirits would keep their slimy hands off.

The holiday hasn’t really evolved all that much since Irish immigrants fleeing the potato famine arrived on this side of the pond in the mid 19th century, with Halloween tagging along for the ride.Sure, Jack-o-lanterns, doorto- door junk food begging, and sequel-happy slasher flicks worked their way into the night of revelry, but the core otherworldly elements remained intact. And so begins our guide to the most chilling holiday in North America.

WHY DO WE GET A CHARGE FROM BEING SCARED OUT OF OUR GOURDS?

Along with happiness, grief, and anger, fear completes the quartet of the most potent human emotions. Bottling up any emotion too long is a recipe for future psychiatric bills. Just as a good cry or punching bag session can act as a powerful release, so too can getting scared out of our wits. Fright can trigger an adrenaline rush and we feel a sense of empowerment when we overcome our fear. There’s a reason people pony up money to go to professional haunted houses where goose bumps and tingling spines are assured; there’s a giant “phew!” factor at the end once you’ve soldiered through. Our addiction to being freaked out - in safe, controlled circumstances -also explains the continued bloodcurdling success of horror movies.

JUST DOLING OUT CANDY: While Halloween is usually an excuse to truly express yourself, don’t let your freak flag fly too high when acting as a candy sentry on the home front. There's nothing more embarrassingthan having a gaggle of neighbourhood kiddies faint in horror at the sight of Ronnie’s dad trying to pull off Lady Gaga. Same goes for Ronnie’s mom. Preserve your street cred and keep it PG folks. Anything sexual, shocking, or patently offensive (ix-nay on the Al Queda outfit) is a no go.
Last Minute Salvation: Find a wrinkly t-shirt in the laundry basket and don’t shave. You’re an instant Lostie (Oceanic 815 survivor).

CHAPERONING TRICK-OR-TREATERS: Forgo masks or any headgear that could be obstructive to your vision. Ditto on handheld accessories like battle axes, faux fi rearms or chain saws. Your primary duty is to safeguard the tots and protect them from real world scariness.

Last Minute Salvation: While you really have a free pass here, if you’re feeling festive and happen to have a pair of red pants (hey some people do), then throw on a plain white tee and presto, you’re half of the White Stripes.

ADULT PARTY This is an opportunity to indulge on a whim and be as crazy as you want to be.

Whether you want to pour on the gore, channel the supernatural, or get your geek on as a character from Lord of the Rings— it’s all fair game. Just be mindful of what you’re there for. If you’re going solo and looking at this as a meet market, be image savvy— dress up as a Klingon Commander and the only digits you’ll be tapping into your iPhone are Kirk, Spock, and McCoy’s.

IF YOU’RE LOOKING TO SCORE try a Beatles mop top wig on for size and get by with a little help from your friends.Join forces with three bros and go as the world’s most hysteria inducing rock band.Avoid clashing by keeping your Fab Four in synch. Stick to one period. If Paul is decked out in a black tailored suit with a skinny tie, it’s really not going to work if Ringo’s got on a Sgt. Pepper uniform and George is wearing an Indian Kurta.

ALL YOU NEED IS LAUGHS? The costumes that have people rolling on the fl oor and dry heaving are usually not store bought. Going in drag can do the trick but shock value alone isn’t inherently hilarious.
The key is a fresh concept. Get a makeup kit and make yourself look like a caveman but don’t go overboard with the hairiness.If people ask if you’re one of the guys from the Geico commercial, go “oh you would think so….nah, screw those ignorant Neanderthals, I switched to Progressive.”

IF YOU’RE AN ALL EYES ON ME TYPE OF GUY and your goal is to win the costume contest, reading the trends is essential if you want your get-up to really resonate with the judges. Pick something popular but not insanely popular so that the reaction is “clever” instead of “I’m surprised he’s the only one dressed up as him.” Think of suiting up as Deputy Travis Junior (bullet proof vest worn over shirt, porn stache, aviator glasses) from Reno 911 or Barney Stinson (sophisticated sharp suit, well pressed shirt, legendary attitude) from How I Met Your Mother.Last Minute Salvation: You’re going to at least need a scary mask.In a pinch pick one up at the drugstore on the way to the party. When people ask you what you’re dressed up as, lift up your shirt and go, “"Whooo...…I’m a Ghoul Gone Wild.”

COSTUMES & CANDY

COSTUMES OF YESTERYEAR
POPULAR COSTUMES ARE A REFLECTION OF THE TIMES, OR AT LEAST OF THE YEAR'S BLOCKBUSTERS. IF YOU BASE YOUR COSTUME ON BOFFO BOX OFFICE RETURNS YOU’RE GOING TO RUN INTO PLENTY OF LOOK-ALIKES.SO IF YOU HAVE YOUR HEART SET ON GOING AS G.I. JOE’S SNAKE EYES THIS YEAR, PREPARE FOR A NINJA THROWDOWN.

1995 The Lion King’s Simba, Belle from Beauty and the Beast, Pocahontas, Batman and Barbie.

CANDY SENSE:
HOW TO AVOID THE GROANS

When stocking up on treats, consider the candy you looked forward to bagging and remember the stuff you chucked out later. Mini chocolate bars remain at the top of the pecking order and M&M’s and Nestle Crunch are golden. You’re never going to please all palates but if you avoid black licorice, coconut (Mounds, Almond Joy), and any acquired tastes, you’ll be on easy street. Many kids have life-threatening food allergies, and while vigilant parents will check the kids’ stash for anything that could cause a reaction, you can help.
Check the packaging to ensure your sweets are free of peanuts and tree nuts.

PARTY HARDY IF YOU’RE HOSTING, GIVE YOUR PARTY AN AIR OF SOPHISTICATION WITH A THEME. SURE “PLAYBOY MANSION” AND “PIRATES AND WENCHES” ARE GOOD MOOD SETTERS BUT THEY’RE ALL A TAD PLAYED OUT. BESIDES, THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO ASSURE YOUR PARTY WILL BRING SEXY BACK. TRY ONE OF THESE MORE NOVEL PARTY PREMISES ON FOR SIZE.

1 DAPPER DUDES & TABLOID TARTS: GUYS: James Bond, Don Draper, The Transporter GALS: Britney, Beyoncé, Paris 2 MYTHS & MANIACS GUYS: Zeus, Thor, Freddy Krueger GALS: Aphrodite, Carrie, Valkyrie


PUMPKINS
THEN
Simple triangular cut-outs. Ta-da!
NOW
Pumpkin sculpting elaborately carved images of skulls, Yoda or the Death Star.

CANDY
THEN
Candy/caramel apples, popcorn/peanut butter balls from the old lady down the street, candy corn and full-size chocolate bars, Nerds, a handful of Kraft caramels, Bubbilicious, Popeye Cigarettes, Candy Necklaces, Chupa Chups, Fun Dip, Pop Rocks, Rainblo Gum, Jaw Breakers, Skittles, Smarties, Starburst, Tootsie Rolls. Ah, the classics.

NOW
Mini boxes of crayons, mini chocolate bars, and mini bags of chips. Can you say portion control?

COSTUMES
THEN
An old bed sheet with two holes. The Smurf: white track pants, a blue shirt, blue face paint and a white hat.

NOW
Spending at least $50 to look like Barack Obama, The Joker, or Rorschach

MOVIES
THEN
Being enthralled by The Great Pumpkin or spooked by the original Jason, Freddie Krueger and Michael Myers.

NOW
The gorier, the merrier. (Example: Saw I, II, III, IV, V)

DECORATIONS
THEN
Moveable cardboard characters that looked far too friendly.

NOW
Black lights, animatronic ghosts and ghouls, motion-censored monsters and lifelike severed heads strewn about the lawn.